Almost three weeks ago my path crossed with something I just cannot stop thinking about nor can I make a concrete decision about. My hands have been tied during this time, thankfully. I may have made a fast and foolish decision otherwise. Yet, I may have also been left to make the wisest decision, that of following my heart. But which is which and what is what? Heart over head, or head over heart? Indecisiveness drives me crazy!
Are you wondering what crossed my path? Let me show you:
Meet Mandy. She has pulled my heart strings and plays them daily.
Let me backtrack, because you must know the whole story. Why? Because I want some help from you all in helping me with my decision.
Almost three weeks ago I packed a picnic lunch for my husband and I, we headed north with our #1 dog, Buddy, for an afternoon walk/hike and picnic. We had the greatest time, the weather was perfect and our dog loves to go everywhere with us. We were walking across a footbridge when another couple also walking a small dog were walking towards us. Mandy and Buddy met, nose to nose, and it reminded me of Disney’s “Lady and the Tramp.” Buddy is a gentle, sweet, smart, affectionate Chihuahua mix. His mother was Maltese, thus giving him such a sweet temperament. Mandy is also a gentle, sweet, smart, affectionate Chihuahua mix. They share the same coloring too, except her legs are longer, she is taller than Buddy. The woman walking Mandy, Ana, told us she was available for adoption. Oh great! We talked for some time, I held Mandy, and gave Ana my phone number. Ana is a volunteer for the shelter Mandy is at and has Saturday visitations where she takes Mandy for walks and keeps her over night.
Now, meet Buddy. We have had Buddy since he was a couple months old:
See? They both are adorable! Buddy just turned 5 years old, Mandy is also 5 years old. Buddy lives with and loves cats, Mandy also likes cats. They both are babies and love to sleep under the covers all night long. Buddy is exceptionally smart and loves to play ball on the beach and go for walks. Buddy is like our other child.
I just do not believe in accidents. Why has Mandy stayed in my heart and thoughts for so long? To randomly meet on a foot bridge is almost story-worth.
Now, I noticed there was a puffy/reddish area above Mandy’s right eye, her eyebrow area, and mentioned that to Ana, who informed me she would have the vet look at her on Monday. This is the reason my hands have been tied: sure enough, Mandy had an upper respiratory infection or kennel cough, and was placed on antibiotics and is still in isolation recovering. We have had all this time to weigh all our options. And to think, obsess, think, obsess.
I have created positive/negative lists, researched having more than one dog, on and on. Mandy may be well enough this week. I may have to make the decision. We already have our adoption papers in on her and have been approved. I have done a Facebook poll and more friends and family say yes over no. I have discovered male/female go best and the Chihuahua dog breed loves having a companion. However, Buddy is our #1 and we are his parents, I am his constant companion because I work from home. We also have 5 indoor cats (yes, 5). We have plenty of room and a large yard. I love animals and fell in love with Mandy. I purposely stay away from shelters for this very reason: I could take them all home and I could also have a farm!
My indecisiveness has led me to obsess about all the possibilities of adopting Mandy or not adopting Mandy, and then I build on all those possibilities. No matter the steps I am taking to come to a decision, I do not have peace with either choice. I worry about making the wrong decision no matter the decision!
I even looked up tips to help with indecisiveness:
- Research. Do some research so you know as many of the facts of the situation as possible.
- Ask for opinions. If appropriate, ask your friends and/or family for their opinion – but remember to trust your own judgment first and foremost. Never ask for someone’s opinion after you have decided on your course of action as this will confuse you.
- List the pros and cons of each decision. To get yourself out of your head, write them down so you have it in black and white.
- Identify your options. Note how they make you feel and cross out ones that make you feel bad.
- Choose the option that feels right. From your short-list of options, choose the one that makes you feel best.
- Form a backup plan. Once you have settled on your decision, think of the worst possible outcome of making that decision. Make a contingency plan that you can use if the worst case scenario comes about.
- Leave it alone. Once you have made your decision, don’t waste time questioning whether you made the right one. You weighed all the options and did your best to make the right decision.
So, with all this being said, what would you do? Do you have any further tips you could give to help with this very difficult decision? It is mostly falling on me more than my husband, as I am the one who cares most for all our pets and like I said, I work from home. The last thing I want is for adopting Mandy to take away from what we have with Buddy. Also, Mandy deserves to be loved as much as Buddy has been loved all these years. I believe I have enough love to do this, yet will Buddy be okay?
Part of me thinks, let someone else adopt her and give her a forever home. But what about this almost magical foot bridge meeting three weeks ago? What about the heart strings? The time we have been given during her illness and recovery? Is this a yes or no direction?
I’m interested in your thoughts and welcome them,